Your worst.

You sat on the elevation aside the staircase near the canteen section checking for something on our phone. I could see you through my hostel room window; you sitting behind the bushes that lie before the staircase starting from the academic building till there. I couldn’t hardly spot anyone there else you as you were the only person then visible to me after the bushes.

Your white tee that had some ‘F’ print on it, was still visible to me though. Your jeans that sat on the floor of the elevation boundary fence ripped, was my favourite again.

I couldn’t distract myself, to be honest, not to watch you; or apparently stare you. I still can never figure out for the reason I used to see you that way through my window, on the second floor of the building.

Thought ran on my mind vigorously on all bad I have seen in you and even for good that I observe in you, everything in turbidity prevailed round me in my room watching you through the pane not just once but before too many a times.

I am bound to recall things when no one with-stayed with you having the reasonable excuse of your violence of both mind and the respective chaos you held with everything and everyone around you which made everyone uncomfortable to the hell extent is sharply something that couldn’t be told.

The philanthropic mood of yours which always eliminated you from all the crowd you tried going into, was one of the reason I was pulled to draw my attention towards you. Your badass behaviour that barred you from every event happening around attracted me towards you. That was awfully true to be accepted.

That insolent part of yours, to everyone you spoke to, definitely threatens me and makes me to back off from all my rising feelings and emotions. But if I have no freaking guts to abode for your dilapidation you make every single second in your grunting experiences, I would never deserve my will power to closely admit it.

The one day which was so very expected from you to cooperate with the group allotted then in the science lecture we had was so freshening in my mind. All went straight until you created the chaos regarding what you wanted which was maybe not counted by the co-members. I am sorry for the reason I didn’t notice it too. It still forces us all to rethink the reason why you did it. “Why does he just prefer ruining things?”, “Why does he aggressively shout when things can be sorted all peacefully?”- The only questions that triggered all minds there; out of all I remember lest I recollect interestingly, I would love to reveal, I thought more than it. “Why were you like that?” “What makes you so impulsive to react like that?” It provoked in me a hell lot so clouded doubted questions. It made me build a will in challenge to face your violent pique as to make it more than a kinderness to just observe you being far!.

This time I won’t just look at you with flowing thoughts tangling in me. I am to let it out. Let out you the admiration that I have for you, to understand you. I am to take the encounter and suppress all my mean thoughts and ideas that are built by people on you. I want to take the stand. Stand for maybe the right. Stand for maybe the deserving. Stand for maybe to rectify the distorted things. Stand for the so unconditional one sided affection. Stand in with your worst and apparently to stand for you.

-Shreya Nigam


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