And I finally agreed that I couldn’t face it.. I couldn’t face that down fall when it comes to relationships..by “relationship” i,here, mean all kind of kindreds and friends. Yes I couldn’t accept the calming ocean and just intentionally holding on to the storming breeze. I am a writer. I have billions and trillions of thoughts tangling in the inner nerve of my head which often find their way to be penned down when got the opportunity. I turn things complicated, i admit; I wish to mold it in the best possible way i prefer..I cant change myself, dude!It’s this to be tolerated.
It’s been a long long way I started to know me..and what I admire is I am content to what I have..Maybe i wish for more..and it’s coz I know i deserve better..How can I sit satisfied on less than what I wanted? That’s, for me, a big NO!
While this so called know-ure of mine, in these around seven months, I really changed a lot..I found what actually am..I have no idea why do i feel overwhelmed typing it, but it’s soothing to know the actual fact on the part you are writing and keep the originality of it as to be understood… To express it in simple,u need to complicate it in your inner zest.! You would understand it if u write any sort of stuff to be read.
A bold and grith confess- “I am no more scared of losing people in my life!” Well, that’s entirely new when it comes to persuade yourself to be completely aware of yourself. .A sort of shit, sarcastic, at this ‘not too much age’, hit me in such a lofty influencing shape that it brought me the hardness in me so unknowingly..I get detached in ease just as the way i get attached..but there’s a vast difference between attraction and infatuation too. The sort of attachment i have with my best friends is just inevitable..You can never stop the growing trust on a person you stay with.you share things with,you wander with..Ohh come on! that’s human nature,man!! We expect from whom we love or get close to. That’s in no one’s hand!Sad!
Down, I couldn’t face. I am short in words when it comes to my classroom for literature where we read about ‘life’. Mmm…there are like hundreds of things I dont agree to. i have different perceptions..but to speak it their to raise question is not validly relevant coz what now i feel or have cravings for, is a consequence on the deals i have made so far in my cherishing life..Hah! How to deal with this now???
No one actually gives a shit on what you feel unless they want your company, have their upcoming favor from you or whatever!. Quality matters, not the quantity..I have always stuck that in my mind as far as my small little friend circle is concerned.. but sarcastically..i found no “quality” people here..Or maybe there are but then I am too an introvert,”happy in me”.!!
How I conquered her explanation in the class regarding “Of revenge” and “If” by Rudyard Kipling with the debating thoughts I always follow in reality, in my mind. Do I really look like, being calm and quiet when one does wrong to me..? Hahah! ..I turn devil! I do something worse than faced by me. I tried to think the mythic way of being understanding and not to imitate anyone or turn like someone bad…Hell that philosophy! ..I dont want to be an innocent lady in saree who tolerates every bad or worst thing happening to her..still loving the same way she would do when not harmed!..God!!..I am not that patient! Ohhh..sorry for that!..hah! Does it make any difference? yes!! It SATISFIES me!